faith

have you still no faith?

Jesus asks his disciples this simple question in the middle of a storm. he's asleep in the boat. unfrazzled. they are freaking out.

mind you, they've already been with him for some time. they've seen him turn the water into wine, and heal the sick, and remove demons, and make the lame walk. they have heard him teach. heck, their whole lives have been radically transformed by him: from fishermen, and tax collectors to following this man who claims to be God.

then a little wind blows and their lives are turned upside down. and Jesus is sitting just an arms length from them, but they accuse him of abandoning him, of not caring.

i am amazed at how much my life and attitude reflects that of the disciples in the boat.
i believe Jesus is the son of God, born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, predicted that he would willingly lay his life down for me, went around doing a million miracles, was wrongly accused and taken to the cross to die, but he agreed to this knowingly simply because a sinner undeserving like me needed a way back to God, and then he ROSE AGAIN! his body was never found. his disciples were so radically changed that each ended up dying for him. and christianity grew and endured much. and today i know Jesus and he lives in my heart. he's saved me. i've given my whole life to him. he has radically transformed me. he has protected me and provided for me, and proven to me again and again that he is God. he has answered my prayers and healed my broken heart, he has loved me through periods of failure and given me grace when i have not deserved it.

and yet the minute the wind rises, and the waves grow, and the sun hides behind a cloud, i seem to forget that he is right there unfrazzled, unfazed by any of it. and when i finally slow down enough to listen to him speak, i hear his words clearly:

lina, have you still no faith?